I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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