She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
