But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
