when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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