does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
