Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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