you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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