I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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