Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
