So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Randomize
