worst night to have a conscience
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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