dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
