I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
