There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
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