That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
