My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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