He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
