hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
