Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
