Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
