You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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