she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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