you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
