god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
