I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
