I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
