my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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