i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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