DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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