Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
