You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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