where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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