What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
