I didn't shave. On purpose
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
