It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
