About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
