you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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