Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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