summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
