Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
