jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
