I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
