Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
