Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
