U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
