i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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