What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
