So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
