I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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