Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
