don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
