I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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