Me. At least after what I've been through.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
