can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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